


The Paths We Walk

by Worlds_we_Idolize



Category: Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Basically, Canon Compliant, Canon Divergence - Spider-Man: Far From Home, Dead Tony Stark, Drabble, Family Feels, Gen, Hopeful Ending, Hurt No Comfort, Letters, Minor Michelle Jones/Peter Parker, Peter Parker Angst, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter Parker Whump, Peter Parker is Trying His Best, Peter Parker is a Mess, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Post-Spider-Man: Far From Home, Post-Spider-Man: Far From Home Mid-Credits Scene, References to Depression, Running Away, Sad Ending, Sad Peter Parker, Sort Of, Suicide Notes, Tony Stark Feels, but is it?, but not really?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-10
Updated: 2020-06-10
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:14:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24641467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Worlds_we_Idolize/pseuds/Worlds_we_Idolize
Summary: As soon as Peter has something, the universe takes it away. Just when he thinks the most trying time of his life is over, his civilian identity is exposed for all to see. With Tony gone, his loved ones at risk, and the entire world against him, there's only one thing he can do.orA version of what happens post Far From Home mid credits scene.
Relationships: Happy Hogan & Peter Parker, May Parker (Spider-Man) & Peter Parker, Peter Parker & Pepper Potts, Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Comments: 4
Kudos: 52
Collections: Spider-Man Public Identity Reveal





	The Paths We Walk

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: allusions to depression/ self hatred/ dangerous behaviors. Nothing explicit but if that kind of subtext gets to you, please be cautious! 
> 
> This is a mostly canon compliant work. However, the Starks still own the Avengers Tower. Besides that, everything is the same.  
> Please enjoy!

_I’m sorry._

That’s the first sentence Peter types when he opens his laptop. The only words he is sure of. The only sentiment he knows he needs to get across. 

_I’m sorry._

The claim warrants repeating, because truly, how is anyone supposed to believe he feels regret? If he were sorry he wouldn’t be doing this, right? He wouldn’t be choosing this path. 

_I know this is unforgivable._

But things have become more complicated than that. Now, he needs to make choices he never thought he would. Still, the sentence is an understatement. A drastic simplification of the pain he will inflict on his loved ones. 

_But I need to do this. It’ll be better this way._

Tony’s lab is somehow haunting and comforting all at once. When the sliding doors let the teenager walk in he’s almost sure his mentor’s voice will call out a greeting, as it had so many times before. He can practically hear the buzzing of welding tools and the hum of machines. Peter takes a moment to stand still in the quiet of the room. The darkness is the only indication that things are not as they should be. That the very fabric of his reality has been uprooted and destroyed within a day (or five years, depending on whose perspective you consider). 

_I’ve put everyone I love in danger. Even before Mysterio._

Peter lets his backpack slide off his shoulder and gently lowers it to the floor. He knows no one will enter the tower until six am, but he doesn’t want to test his luck. Four hours is more than enough time to do what he has to, but every second spent reminiscing is a second of travel wasted. 

_Looking back, the second I became Spiderman-_

A few of Tony’s suits line the room in glass casings. The sharp edges of metal gleam under the tiny spotlights. But that isn’t what the young hero is here for. Peter takes off towards a back section of the workshop, a small space that Tony had relegated to him when he first started his internship. Together they had spent countless hours pouring over design plans and brainstorming ideas in this very spot. Alone, this is where Tony would retreat to when thoughts of his protege plagued his mind. Where he had drafted up version after version of the Spiderman suit to ensure his safety. 

_-I always knew it would end this way._

The large metal tubes, more similar to torpedoes than anything else, are stacked meticulously beneath the desk. It’s a wonder that Peter had never noticed them before (and a wonder that Happy had trusted him enough to mention their existence back on that plane in Europe). He slides one out and pops open the lid. The hiss of the compressed air releasing makes him shudder. The small sound seems to echo around the room. He carefully reaches inside the compartment and pulls out a shiny piece of spandex and cloth. 

_I never expected to have these powers._

With a renewed sense of urgency, Peter begins untwisting the capsules and letting their contents spill out onto the floor. A wide array of colors, patterns, and materials decorate the cement. Some unfurl as they fall, revealing their unique quirks. Others remain as fixed objects, the likes of which Peter will probably have to tinker with for hours to uncover their true purpose. It’s a wardrobe’s worth of superhero protection just waiting to be used. 

_I never expected Mr. Stark to show up at my home._

It isn’t until Peter has finished stuffing all the suits in his backpack and he’s staring witlessly out at the skyline that he realizes he’s crying. His fingers scrape across the zipper as he gazes at the many lights illuminating New York City. The view is intimidating and grand and so indescribably familiar that the teen feels it in his bones. The glare of taillights, the blinking of cellphone towers, the slog of traffic. His heart is both full and bleeding.

_I never expected to fall in love with MJ._

A sob wrenches it’s way out of his throat before he can quiet it. He shoves his fist into his mouth, lest he continue to weep on the floor like a child. The memory of swinging through the streets with Michelle in his arms is too much for him to bear. The euphoria and the sudden crash when that screen lit up, his true identity being broadcasted for all the world to see. How could he lose so much, over and over and over again?

_I never expected to become an Avenger. And eventually, one of the last._

The days following the reveal had been horrible. Paparazzi and authorities swarmed May’s apartment within the hour, demanding whatever information she had to offer. Together he and her huddled on the couch with the blinds pulled close, listening to the incessant knocking and mourning their former lives. Their savior came in the form of Happy; panicked beyond belief and just barely hiding it. The former security guard managed to get them to a car and eventually to Tony’s secluded cabin home. When Pepper opened the door, Morgan sitting on the staircase behind her, she embraced May with open arms and let her cry. All the fear, all the pain, all the confusion spilling out of the two over their shared experiences of lost and normalcy. Just another thing Peter had irreversibly broken. 

_I never expected to lose another family. Not after just finding it._

Peter hopes that his next actions will be enough to dissuade Pepper and Happy from looking for him. He tears his gaze away from the night sky and let’s his eyes wander over to the displays of armor across the lab. Hoisting his bag over his shoulder, Peter shakily rises to his feet. His hands skim the tabletop for a moment before finding what he’s looking for; a sturdy cut of metal. It’s long and thin enough for him to grasp without much effort, and Peter heads over. Without a second thought he bashes in the glass separating him from the shell of his mentor, repeating the motion over and over again until the suit of weaponry is lying dented on the floor. Again, again- he goes down the row. One after the other joining the wreckage flooding the ground. Hopefully this last act of cruelty against Tony Stark’s legacy will be enough to keep his family from tracking him down. Hopefully they will accept their hatred of the young hero as easily as the rest of the world did, when they saw that doctored video of him killing Mysterio. If anything will convince them, it must be this, right?

_But I have never been able to protect those I love. I shouldn’t have convinced myself otherwise._

As the hours turn into days, a week- and still, the Parkers cannot leave their makeshift safe house with the Starks- Peter knows what he has to do. He can’t stand the way the adults tiptoe around him, wanting to help but also wondering ‘what if’? What if he did kill that man in cold blood? What if this was all his fault? And Peter can’t stand the way May’s eyes gloss over whenever talks of placing them in some sort of witness protection program comes up. He can’t stand the anger and grief he sees in her expression, and he can’t stand the weary glances Pepper shoots him when she thinks he can’t see. It’s too much. Too much. Too much. 

_When I’m gone things can go back to normal. I can’t be a liability anymore._

Peter takes a look at his phone and nearly swears. Three a.m. It’s time to leave. 

He attempts to calm his racing heart but it’s difficult when the crunching of glass rings beneath his feet and his palms burn from where they got caught on jagged edges. He takes a deep breath and lets his phone fall to the ground, adding it to the carnage. He won’t need it from this point on. 

_May-_

There’s something vaguely frightening about how easily Peter cracks open the window and leaps off the side of the tower. Sure, he had been Spiderman for awhile now, but right now he wasn’t. He’s Peter Parker. And he just willingly took a nosedive off a floor in the double digits. He squints his eyes against the rush of wind assaulting his face and basks in the chill of the night air on his skin. He’s not used to doing this without a mask. At some point he casts a web out towards the adjacent street, almost sighing when he feels his body start lifting upwards. 

_I’m sorry._

The trip through the city blurs until Peter finds himself sitting atop a truck. Carefully, lest he lose his balance and tumble beneath the wheels, he peeks over the side to catch a glimpse of the driver in the mirror. The older man hadn’t noticed anything amiss. Good. Peter forces his way into the back of the holding area and sits down among the cardboard boxes. Now, all he had to do was wait. 

_I’m sorry._

Back at the Stark residence, his old laptop sits open and waiting on the desk in his room. Ready for his Aunt to read when she goes to wake him up for breakfast. Peter shakes his head, trying to clear it of any thoughts of his now past life. At least, for the time being. 

Within a few hours he should be well out of the city. 

_Love,_

And off to clear his name. 

_Peter._

~~~~

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Honestly, I'm a big fan of the runaway Peter theory for the third movie's plot, and love the idea of him trying to clear his name by himself and getting into whatever hijinks along the way. I couldn't resist writing this kinda angsty piece real quick, lmaooo  
> If you enjoyed please leave a kudos or comment! I appreciate all support. :)


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